The time of the witch, the zombie and things that go bump in the night is upon us. Which means that thoughts naturally gravitate towards things of a macabre or disgusting nature, things that are going to give you a good scare and get the adrenaline pumping this All Hallow’s Eve. Some people might go down the film route; some might prefer a creepy game. Then there’re the sadists who decide to leave the lights on, curtains open and not get any sweets in for the trick or treaters. Although they may be the bravest of us all.
I’m here today to take you through a list of games that are so scary that locking them in a box and firing it into the sun won’t save you from the fear. Games that are so out there, pushing against the boundaries of human decency, that I’m surprised they’re allowed to be on sale. These are the games you want to avoid this spoopy season.
First up is Animal Crossing: New Leaf.
I can’t imagine a game worse than this if I’m honest. I get that the Animal Crossing series falls into the life simulation genre but New Leaf goes too far. The fishing, collecting bugs and upgrading your house is fine. I can get on board with that.
What sends chills down my spine is the fact your character is given the title of Mayor and needs to carry out various mayoral duties. You’ve essentially gone from random resident to a… civil servant. You can’t see it but the shivers I get just typing that are out of control.
If you want the experience of a civil servant life with an over enthusiastic aide then by all means go for it. Although I won’t be held responsible for any uneasy feelings you may experience.
Dance Central series
The Dance Central series is basically a ruse to get you to exercise. This however, isn’t the worst part. The additional sections in the game will make the blood drain from your face. I’m talking about the playback section at the end of the song, showing either snapshots or, worse, a short clip of you dancing.
I don’t need to see the awful images of my insanely rhythm-free dance moves. I certainly don’t need to see a video playback of it. Arms flailing, legs looking like they have a mind of their own with a face so red it makes a beetroot looked washed out.
It’s a scary thought reliving how I look dancing and I can only imagine how it’d look to other people. I’m getting heart palpitations just thinking about it.
Don’t Knock Twice
Now while this is a genuine horror game, the urban legend it’s based on isn’t even the worst thing about it. Neither are the middling to negative reviews it received.
I’m talking about the delight that is your daughter, Chloe. Chloe is at the teenage stage of life where everything is your fault and she hates you. She also doesn’t disguise this disdain and reminds you every few minutes via text.
Is there a scarier situation than having a teenage kid who likes nothing more than to act like the turd? The saving grace in Don’t Knock Twice is the house is pretty big so you don’t have to see her.
Assassin’s Creed Unity
Does the picture really need explaining? I’m maybe bordering on being face-ist including this but it’s some scary stuff.
Those of a nervous disposition might want to skip this one
There is a game where the slightest whisper is enough to shake even the most hardened person to their core. It’s only one word, 5 letters long. Seems like nothing at all. That word:
Cue the PTSD-like flashbacks of those who played this on the Mega Drive. You’ll see the eyes shift, the hands shake and the forehead perspire.
I dare not say the name again but it is a game of console past. It had platforming so awful, music so repetitive and a character that is (to my knowledge) vilified. This is a game that most people which never existed. Unfortunately the memory of playing this has been seared into their soul, forever!
Sticking with games that have scarred gamers, there’s another game that even the company themselves tried to bury. Literally.
ET is considered the worst game in history and was totally panned when it was released in 1982! So much so that Atari took a load of Atari related items like consoles, unsold games (mostly ET cartridges) and then crushed and buried them in cement in a landfill.
As this was a time before the internet, this story turned to urban legend, but was proved to be true when a team excavated the area found the cartridges, mostly of ET.
I think a game that was cited as a major cause of the video game industry crisis of ‘83 is a game that is beyond terrifying.
It’s not the whole Black/White game that’s the issue but one Pokémon in particular: Yamask.
The story behind Yamask is nothing short of terrifying. Yamask is a Pokémon that used to be human. Human! The mask it carries is the face of what it looked like when it was alive.
Pokémon is filled with cutesy creatures where you’re meant to be battle, collect badges and have a laugh. How can anyone do this knowing that you could run into a pokémon that used to be human. Which only leads to the question of which other Pokémon used to be human?
Is Yamask the only one or is your whole team filled with things that used to be human? It’s a scary thought and one that keeps me up at night. Probably best to avoid this one.
The one game you should avoid at all costs!
The last on the list is the worst game of them all: The Sims. The Sims brings out the darkest side of a person. You could be the nicest, most easy going person in existence but when The Sims begins that persona is gone.
All it takes is one random thought: “I wonder what would happen if stopped my Sim going to the toilet”.
Once the question is asked you’re compelled to find out. Only it doesn’t stop there. The little things begin. You’ve stopped your Sim from going to the toilet to find they have a little accident, but what next? Next thing you know, you’re stopping them from going to bed to see how long they last before they crash out.
It’s all fun and games but then comes the big question: “What will happen if I remove the ladders from the swimming pool?”. It’s at this point you’re completely gone and you’re making small rooms with 20 chairs, a fire place and no door “just to see what happens”.
The beast has been unleashed. On the surface you’re a good, decent person but lurking underneath is a Sim’s worst nightmare.
This is definitely one to avoid.
These are just a small collection of games that might best be left until the longer days during the Summer. Although I’d still recommend skipping them to be on the safe side.
Have a safe and happy Halloween/All Hallows’ Eve/All Saints’ Eve/Samhain from us here at God is a Geek.